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Cavey · 12-02-2006

Dear Dr. Cavey,
I am looking for the top prizes in YOAMD. I am willing to do anything to get a free vacation, DVC membership, or a night in Cindy's Castle. What can I do? My family includes me, my husband, my 13year old son, 5 year old daughter and my 3 year old son.

Thanks,
Desperate To Win

Dear Desperate,

You are certainly not alone in your desires. Millions of vacationers this year are hoping to win the top prizes. Unfortunately, the law of averages state the best prizes will go to one-time vacationers, who will go home and complain how much they didn't like WDW, but are now "stuck" with a 50-year DVC membership.

However, you are obviously one of the true Disney obsessed, and you recognize that desperate times call for desperate measures. The key is making your family as cute and sympathetic as possible. Here are the steps you need to take to get a top dream:

To begin with the basics, everyone in your family should be wearing matching outfits at every park you attend. There is one exception to this. At every moment your daughter should be dressed as a princess. Your family needs to accent this by smiling and skipping everywhere you go.

Next, you and your husband must be the perfect couple. This is best suited by getting matching Mickey & Minnie wedding ears. A sign on your backs should read, "Just" and "Married." Never mind the fact that you are there with kids. No one would expect a couple married 15 years to be this audacious or romantic.

Now, to the children.

We've already discussed your daughter's need to be princess material. Pig tails and a Shriley Temple smile are a must if your daughter is going to rate on the cuteness scale. Remember lots of WDW girls dress as princess, but only a handful can pull it off.

In addition to your newlywed status, your youngest son is celebrating a birthday. That's right. Everyday of your trip, he is to be wearing a birthday button and skipping up to CMs saying, "Today, I'm a big boy."

Now, to your oldest. We all know teenag boys are too "cool" for WDW, and your DS is sure to ruin your efforts. Fortunately for you, he won't have a choice. This is where you will need to purchase a taser Taser M-18 Advanced - Stun Defense Tazer or Taser This device delivers a strong electric shock to the nervous system. Across America paretns are discovering that once their teenager has experienced a taser, they will do anything you ask--smile, skip, where a pink tu-tu. Keep your taser close to yous this trip, and if you must us it, this should be done in privacy, as some politically-correct extremists may frown on this.

Some might find these measures to be dishonest, extreme, perhaps even cruel. Don't worry. These are the same people who will be contented with nothing more than a Golden FastPass.

Have a great trip. Enjoy your dreams!

Oh, once last thing. Do NOT allow your teenager to have access to the taser. This would not be good for you or your husband.

~Dr. Cavey

Disclaimer: The opinions of Dr. Cavey are not endorsed by the American Psychiatric Association, the National Parenting Society, Super Nanny, or Focus on the Family.

12-02-2006	#7 (permalink)
Cavey MB's Rabble Rouser® Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Carlinville, IL Posts: 6,144	Re: How else do you win?? Dear Dr. Cavey, I am looking for the top prizes in YOAMD. I am willing to do anything to get a free vacation, DVC membership, or a night in Cindy's Castle. What can I do? My family includes me, my husband, my 13year old son, 5 year old daughter and my 3 year old son. Thanks, Desperate To Win Dear Desperate, You are certainly not alone in your desires. Millions of vacationers this year are hoping to win the top prizes. Unfortunately, the law of averages state the best prizes will go to one-time vacationers, who will go home and complain how much they didn't like WDW, but are now "stuck" with a 50-year DVC membership. However, you are obviously one of the true Disney obsessed, and you recognize that desperate times call for desperate measures. The key is making your family as cute and sympathetic as possible. Here are the steps you need to take to get a top dream: To begin with the basics, everyone in your family should be wearing matching outfits at every park you attend. There is one exception to this. At every moment your daughter should be dressed as a princess. Your family needs to accent this by smiling and skipping everywhere you go. Next, you and your husband must be the perfect couple. This is best suited by getting matching Mickey & Minnie wedding ears. A sign on your backs should read, "Just" and "Married." Never mind the fact that you are there with kids. No one would expect a couple married 15 years to be this audacious or romantic. Now, to the children. We've already discussed your daughter's need to be princess material. Pig tails and a Shriley Temple smile are a must if your daughter is going to rate on the cuteness scale. Remember lots of WDW girls dress as princess, but only a handful can pull it off. In addition to your newlywed status, your youngest son is celebrating a birthday. That's right. Everyday of your trip, he is to be wearing a birthday button and skipping up to CMs saying, "Today, I'm a big boy." Now, to your oldest. We all know teenag boys are too "cool" for WDW, and your DS is sure to ruin your efforts. Fortunately for you, he won't have a choice. This is where you will need to purchase a taser Taser M-18 Advanced - Stun Defense Tazer or Taser This device delivers a strong electric shock to the nervous system. Across America paretns are discovering that once their teenager has experienced a taser, they will do anything you ask--smile, skip, where a pink tu-tu. Keep your taser close to yous this trip, and if you must us it, this should be done in privacy, as some politically-correct extremists may frown on this. Some might find these measures to be dishonest, extreme, perhaps even cruel. Don't worry. These are the same people who will be contented with nothing more than a Golden FastPass. Have a great trip. Enjoy your dreams! Oh, once last thing. Do NOT allow your teenager to have access to the taser. This would not be good for you or your husband. ~Dr. Cavey Disclaimer: The opinions of Dr. Cavey are not endorsed by the American Psychiatric Association, the National Parenting Society, Super Nanny, or Focus on the Family. __________________ . . Cavey, Tigger, BossMouse, Soundgod Erin, and Lil'pocohantas in association with the Federal Emergency Management Agency, and Juicy Juice are proud to present Cavey-Fest III December 13, 2008 Last edited by Cavey; 12-03-2006 at 02:51 PM.