[tiggerlover1971]

Originally Posted by E&B's Mom

It depends on how fancy the event is. DD has gotten invited to some that have a morning service and a black tie party in the evening. For that you'd make sure they have a not-too-dressy dress for the service (make sure shoulders are covered) and then a fancy dress for the evening. Kohl's has a lot of affordable appropriate dresses for both occasions. If the part is immediately following the service (in the afternoon - like DD's) you'd probably dress her like you would for any other fancier afternoon party (a relative's wedding?) Not too-too fancy, but nice. Does that make sense? The dress DD will be wearing to her own is dressier that she would wear to someone else's for the same type of event.

As for a gift, I usually send DD with a $36 check. The number $18 is Chai - a Hebrew word which I think represents both the number and the word for life. It's considered lucky of you give $ to give a gift with a multiple of $18. $18 is too little, but nobody really gives $54. $36 just seems to be the right amount.

I don't think there's much else to think about. The service can be long for a kid, so just tell her to be patient. And personally I would add to make sure her shoulders are covered and her dress is not too short. If it were an Orthodox temple, she should have a dress below the knee, but it probably isn't (most Orthodox kids don;t have that many non-Orthodox friends, since they usually go to private religious schools). In a conservative or reform temple (ours is reform - more liberal) they do wear off the shoulder dresses and short skirts, but that doesn't mean they are appropriate - I usually wonder how mothers can let their daughter's go to a religious service dressed like that.

I was going to answer but you did it better justice than I could of and I am jewish too lol