First of all, welcome to MouseBuzz.
You do have a short trip but you can get a lot done in those four days. First thing you need to do is decide what's the most important to your family and start with there. Put the parks in order of importance and from there decided what attractions are the most important to see and do. You won't be able to do everything but if you pick 4-5 must do attractions in each park you will surely be able to get those done and everything after that is a bonus.
Let your kids help research and decide what they feel is most important that way you have a plan before you go and you won't waste a lot of time standing around trying to decide what to do all day. Look over the park maps and plan your attack. The Unofficial Guide
Amazon.com: The Unofficial Guide Walt Disney World 2009 (Unofficial Guides): Bob Sehlinger, Len Testa: Books has some great touring plans to help you do and see the most in each park. You don't have to do everything in the plan but it's a great place to start if you need some help.
Most of all, relax and remember to have a good time. It's easy to get caught up in the running around trying to get everything done trap. You can't do everything so don't waste your time trying.
PS Tell your husband thanks for his service to our country.