[Dana]

Well it's that time of year again. Yes, the first day of school. I took my daughter and got to meet her brand new third grade teacher. I told the teacher about our upcoming vacation in October and let's just say she wasn't pleased. We are leaving on a Thursday and she will be back in school the next Wednesday. I asked her if my daughter could possibly to a "educational" trip report of some kind or maybe a special assignment in Epcot, so its not a total freebie break from school and was told and I quote " I do not have the time or inclination to make special assignments for children who's parents think they can pull them out when ever they feel for a vacation". She told me that not only was her time off unexcused but her work missed could not be made up. Did I approach this wrong or something? I wasn't asking for special favors from her and made my intentions clear. It was just unfortunate timing of when I could take a vacation from work. I try to schedule it so she missed the least amount of school possible. My vacation time is frozen from mid October until January 30th. How can I fix this? Anyone have any suggestions? Any teachers out there with an idea? What did I say wrong? I was trying to give as much notice a possible. Perhaps I shouldn't have done it on the first day? I just wanted to tell her before my daughter blurted it out in class. Oh well...going to be a long year it looks like.

[Scanlonsgirl]

Dana,

i want to respond but i just noticed the time i'm out the door! going home I'll try to respond tonight or tomorrow.. OH GIRL>> i got something to say!


Lisa :madmad

[mj7379]

I see that you live in New Jersey, what school system does you daughter attend. My mother is a teacher in New Jersey and knows lots of teachers in the state, so maybe I could be of some help if I knew what school system.

Aside from that, I'm shocked that the teacher was so unhelpful, she is only in 3rd grade and I'm sure if the teacher gave u the work that was going to be covered that you would be able to teach it to her. That way all of her assignment would be complete and she wouldn't lose any credit for them. Also, you daughter wouldn't fall so behind and maybe be able to stay on track with the rest of her class. That maybe you best answer.

[lopo]

Dana, I, too, checked your profile to see where you live (because I didn't read mj7379's post first!) and saw that you live in NJ. I was curious because I had also experienced almost the exact same attitude over the years from most of my kids' teachers. I was shocked at first. However, I learned that the official policy of our school system does not condone absences for family vacations whether they could be considered educational or not! I have never taken my kids out of school for more than 2-3 days at the most. I usually would plan the traveling time around a regularly scheduled school vacation, but I utlized extra days on each end (We would fly out on the Friday before the vacation week, and return on the Monday after sometimes.) In any case, I was prepared to argue if any of the kids suffered decreased gradings simply because they had unexcused absences (The teachers informed me that they could decrease grades by certain amounts depending upon the number of unexcused absences instead of giving the kids the actual grades they earned.) It was never necessary though. The kids were not penalized. Fortunately, they were all good students and did not require extra tutoring or assignments as a result of the time missed. I think that I probably experienced this three or four times. A couple of times, the kids' teachers gave us their blessings and wished us a good time together, etc. Additionally, they offered to spend a little extra time with my kids if it was required (It wasn't.) All of this took place in the same school system at various times over 10-12 years.
In my opinion, the time that we spent together on vacation was just as important as the time that the kids would have been in school. In these harried times, I relished the few days we were able to get away from it all together! I remember that I did spend too much time worrying about the consequences of my actions though (all for naught!)

[sleeplessinny1]

Sorry I can't give you any good advise on how to handle this situtation. I wish I could.

My opinion is that teacher needs to remember that family life and love are just as important as education. Yes I agree That children chould not be takin out of school for any old reason. But she need to remember that not all of us have the nice comfy job that has the summer off. Many of us are not allow to take much time off in the summer months. I work in a hospital. I am only allow to take 1 week off in the summer (June, July, August). I can take the rest of my time in off months. It is too hot in the summer for me to go to florida during those months which is why I am going in October. Also if you need to take time off for any family get together like a reunion or wedding or graduation there goes your summer vacation time.

You know your child and what is best for her and your family. I agree that you should try to fit in some educational projects into it. There is much to learn in the theme parks. Education does not have to be boring. There is the world showcase for learning cultures and different foods. The animal kingdom has the conservation aspect and animal care. Taking care of our planet is an important lesson to learn. What about the living seas. Isn't that where they are teaching about alternate ways of growing veggies. There is a tour call Behind the seeds that gives additional iformation on this subject. There is also the Backsage sufari that teaches how disney cares for their animals.
Even if the teacher does not ask for a project maybe your daughter could do it for show and tell.

I hope my information is correct. I have not been to Disney yet but, I have done alot of research for my upcoming trip. I am taking both of these tour that I have mentioned along with the Steam train tour.

My opinion is that you should not feel guilty for taking your child out of school for a few days to spend quality time with her. Enjoy your trip and your daughter.

PS I would speak to the school principle and see if he can help you deal with the teacher. Good luck

[lisajl]

jUST A NOTE ABOUT THE TEACHER. I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT. HERE IN OHIO, A NEIGHBOR OF MINE, HAPPENS TO BE A TEACHER. SHE SAYS, "KIDS LEARN MORE OUT OF SCHOOL, THAN IN SCHOOL." I TEND TO AGREE. UNFORTUNATELY OUR SCHOOL HAS JUST IMPLEMENTED A NEW ATTENDANCE POLICY. I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE MY KIDS OUT FOR VACATION. SO, IF MY VACATION DAYS WERE FROZEN, LIKE YOURS, I GUESS WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GO ANYWHERE....EVER....

I WOULD CHECK WITH THE PRINCIPAL AND THEN THE ADMINISTRATION. THERE HAS TO BE SOME WAY AROUND THIS.

GOOD LUCK...
LISAJL:)

[quartz7]

I am so sorry to hear your story!! We are planning a 2 week vacaction in dec 2004. I will probably have to take my daughter out of school for this unless we go on track. I am hoping they will see she can still read, write and do math while we are gone. In this day and age children should be shown as much as the world as possible. I don't want my daughter to fit into some type of educational mold. She will learn to make her own decisions but to do this she needs to also experience outside of the classroom. I'm sorry if it sounds like ranting and raving, but when did the school systems start paying bills, kiss all the boo-boos or give a shoulder to cry on. I don't think they should tell us what we can do. As for that teacher, she has a job not a love of teaching and that really makes a difference. You did the right thing by asking, she is mistaken. Maybe take it up with the Principle or even the Superintendint. Good Luck!!!
Still have a great time.

Janelle

[Dana]

Here'e the topper...she goes to a private Catholic School..I pay for the attitude I received today. After thinking and making myself worry about if i was doing he right thing as a parent, I decided to try and speak to her again on open house on the 19th. Perhaps with it being the first day of school and everything being hectic that she was just frazzled. I don't really know why I received such an attitude from her, but I'm going to try and chalk it up to a bad day. I have no intention of canceling my vacation or am I going to reschedule. This has been planned from February. This trip is special to both me and my daughter and it is quality time we deserve to have. My daughter is very bright and I can't see how three days missed is going to put her so far behind that she will be lost. If I don't get any results perhaps a talk with the principal wouldn't be a bad idea. I just don't want to lose my temper or say anything stupid. I am going to just wait till open house and see how it goes. Thanks all for the moral support. I'll give you an update after I talk to her again.

[Goofette]

Oh goodness Dana...I went through this last April when I took my dd out to go to WDW (her very first trip there) So I feel for you. But I hope what I have to say will give you comfort afterall.

To start out with, let's just say it got extremely Ugly...ended up at the Superintendents Office, but I had the Superintendent of the school system backing me and he didn't allow the teacher to do what she was doing. I did not regret then and do not regret now taking her out of school for that week. If the school system thinks she missed out on so much, they are CRAZY. She has wonderful memories of wdw with her family and did actually learn things on the vacation, mainly, the love and memories of her family and that life can be fun!!! When did our society become so obsessed with work, and not family.

The school systems are there to teach our children to learn, but they have also been pushing for parents to become "involved" with their childs learning. Yet, when we want family time with our children they raise a stink because it inconveniences them (still most of them are off several weeks through the school year for this and that, I am in education so I know this as a fact). Until the teacher/school system starts coming home to my house and paying for my childs food, clothing, health care, singing her to sleep, reading to her, tucking her into bed and taking care of her when she's sick, then they can butt out of our lives. If I want to share quality and special time with her by golly I'm going to do it.

As I said before, I am Thankful that I took my daughter out of school last year. I'm sure the teacher can't even remember what she taught them that one week, and I know dd wouldn't be able to either, but she'll never forget WDW. BTW, my cousins daughter was killed a few weeks ago...at the visitation they had photo albums of their vacations together. It was so sad, but I am glad that they spent time with their daughter. Life is too short to worry about what others say we should or shouldn't do with our children. I know my cousin is grateful to have had the time to share with her dd, after all she was only here for a brief time here on earth. Just remember we really don't know how long we'll be here and how long we'll have our children or they'll have us.

Good Luck, and pm me if you need encouragement. I've been there and understand.

Paula/aka goofette

[Michael Darling]

I'd say go on the trip anyway. Unless your DD ends up failing a subject because of the trip she's not going to get held back and the "bad" grades won't really have an effect on anything past this school year. Since she's in 3rd grade she's not going to lose a college scholarship or something dreadful like that! But, well... since she's in a private school, that might be a different story since they could probably kick her out for whatever they want to...

You know what? Forget I even said anything other than:
"Ugh... some people...:devil "

:)

[quartz7]

Good Going Goofette!!!

Stand Strong!! Dana, I think your correct in trying again. But if she does it again, you have know choice but to stand up for yourself and your daughter!! Are we not suppose to be encouraging family values. Well encourage all you want Dana and have a great time doing it!!! Keep us posted!!!

Janelle

[Michael Darling]

Well, a little violence never hurt anyone either!
;)

[Dana]

Originally posted by Goofette
Oh goodness Dana...I went through this last April when I took my dd out to go to WDW (her very first trip there) So I feel for you. But I hope what I have to say will give you comfort afterall.

To start out with, let's just say it got extremely Ugly...ended up at the Superintendents Office, but I had the Superintendent of the school system backing me and he didn't allow the teacher to do what she was doing. I did not regret then and do not regret now taking her out of school for that week. If the school system thinks she missed out on so much, they are CRAZY. She has wonderful memories of wdw with her family and did actually learn things on the vacation, mainly, the love and memories of her family and that life can be fun!!! When did our society become so obsessed with work, and not family.

The school systems are there to teach our children to learn, but they have also been pushing for parents to become "involved" with their childs learning. Yet, when we want family time with our children they raise a stink because it inconveniences them (still most of them are off several weeks through the school year for this and that, I am in education so I know this as a fact). Until the teacher/school system starts coming home to my house and paying for my childs food, clothing, health care, singing her to sleep, reading to her, tucking her into bed and taking care of her when she's sick, then they can butt out of our lives. If I want to share quality and special time with her by golly I'm going to do it.

As I said before, I am Thankful that I took my daughter out of school last year. I'm sure the teacher can't even remember what she taught them that one week, and I know dd wouldn't be able to either, but she'll never forget WDW. BTW, my cousins daughter was killed a few weeks ago...at the visitation they had photo albums of their vacations together. It was so sad, but I am glad that they spent time with their daughter. Life is too short to worry about what others say we should or shouldn't do with our children. I know my cousin is grateful to have had the time to share with her dd, after all she was only here for a brief time here on earth. Just remember we really don't know how long we'll be here and how long we'll have our children or they'll have us.

Good Luck, and pm me if you need encouragement. I've been there and understand.

Paula/aka goofette

Paula,
I am so sorry for your cousin's loss. What a horrible tradegy. It makes me feel like any problem I have is nothing compared to what she must be going through. I'll say a prayer for her.

I( have every intention of keeping my vacation. I am not going to lose this time with my daughter. She is only going to be a kid once and when she is 20 I think she will remember our Disney trip and not her assignment at school those three whole days I'm taking her out. I really just don't want any coinflict with my daughter's teacher. I'm sure it will work it's way out. If not, it will be her problem. I'll have a clear head as soon as my plane takes off. Thanks for the pep talk all...I love the support I receive from this site. You guys are awesome!:love: I'll keep you all posted.:)

[Dana]

Originally posted by Michael Darling
Well, a little violence never hurt anyone either!
;)

I don't think that would go over well in the Catholic school...tempting as it may be....:laugh :love: Then again promoting family time doesn't seem to be going over well either go figure:laugh

[jbtoursejg]

We go to a Cathlic school too and 2 years ago when my oldest was in 2nd grade we went in March for 10 days. We missed 5 days of school. The pricipal made a point to admonish all parents not to let kids miss school for vacations but I had just closed my business and needed to be with my family. It was the only time I could go before my new job. When we got back we had my son make up all the dittos and hand out work and we had no problem.
It will all work out fine. And your family will have a great memory.