[Pooh Fan]

I am so disappointed. My DD found out about our surprise trip in December. I had all of my planning stuff and confirmation numbers in a notebook in my room on one of my book shelves. The kids never go through my stuff, so I thought it was ok there. Well, she needed a sheet of paper and she noticed the notebook in my room so she went to get a piece of paper from there. I am not sure why she would go up to the 3rd floor for paper whenthe office is on the 2nd floor, but oh well. anyhow she couldn't help herself and of course read through all of my plans. I did make her promise not to tell her brother because I want him to at least be surprised! I just wish that she had not found out. I have been holding this surprise in for over a year. I also feel a little bad for her because we were not going to be extravagant this year with b-day and Christmas gift like we usually do since they were getting to spend a month at Disney. We had planned on giving them each some money to spend and one gift for their b-days and 2 gift s each for Christmas. I just hope she isn't too upset when her 2 page gift list is not filled and remembers that part of her gift was the surprise trip to Disney. I know she will be ok with it, I think I am the one sho is upset because I wanted the surprise to be perfect.

[Dana]

I am so sorry. I know how hard you worked to keep that all a surprise. Maybe you can think of a surprise for her at WDW? I know you're DD won't be disappointed with the amount of gifts she gets...she's good kid. Don't be so hard on yourself. Can you bring her in on the secret? Maybe together you and her can keep the others from finding out? It may be fun to share a secret with her and make her feel included on the surprise.

[Disneyfever]

I'm sorry your DD found out about the surprise. That must have been so hard for you to plan the vacation for a year without the kids knowing anything. I think Dana's idea about bringing your DD in on the secret is a good one. Maybe she can help plan something that you will do at WDW. That would probably make her feell very special.
I don't think she will be upset about only getting two gifts for Christmas. A trip to WDW is so much better! We have some really neat dollar stores where I live. I don't know if you have any in Michigan, but they have some great stuff. Maybe you can find a couple of items there to add to her gifts.
And did I read correctly that you will be spending a MONTH there? How cool! I'm sure you will have a wonderful trip!!

[Andrea]

Oh, that's so disappointing. I bet your DD feels kind of bad, too.

The idea of letting her help with something is a good one.

Also, I'd be honest about the gift situation; don't let it be a surprise. Kids usually come through with stuff like that. Let her know what the plan is ahead of time, that she's only getting one thing, and let her pick what that one thing she really wants is. I bet she'll be great about it.

[Cavey]

ANOTHER GREAT PARENTING TIP FROM CAVEY

Dear Dr. Cavey,
I have been planning a suprise trip to WDW for the past year. Recently, my nosey daughter used some lame excuse to go through my personal effects and discover the suprise. Murder is illegal in my state. So I am at a loss at what to do. I'd appreciate any parenting advice.

Sincerely,
A Disappointed & Hostile Dad

Dear ADHD,
There is really no reason to feel disappointed. Your daughter's curousity shows that she is well on her way to be a successful police detective, research scientist, or cat burglar. Although thoughts of murder are common in such situations, remember that 30 years in prison punishes you more than the child.

You actually have several remedies that may teach DD to mind her own business. First, is the straight-out "Okay, your not going, Miss Nosey." Using this approach, DD believes for the next 76 days that you are actually going to take the rest of the family to WDW without her. To really drive this one home, you should convince DD that her least favorite relative is going to watch her over the holidays. You may even wish to ship DD off to Aunt Nelly's house for a few days prior to the trip. The suprise comes when you pick DD up at Nelly's and tell her it was all a joke. Of course, the draw back to this plan is DD will probably spoil the secret for the other family members in the house.

A second approach is to tell DD the trip is not for your family. Instead this would be a good time to talk about the stresses of marriage and how her mother has been too busy for you lately. But now you have met a wonderful woman at work and this will be your first chance to spend time together away from work. VERY IMPORTANT: You should let your wife know about this plan before you say anything to DD. Otherwise, you'll be using that vacation money to rent a one room effeciency apartment in the low-rent side of town.

Lastly, and most effective, a sharp, metal spike shoved up the right nostrile has proven effective in removing part of the memory center of the brain. This would restore the suprise factor of the trip. The only drawback, is DD will not remember the trip afterwards and may not even remember her own name. But I think you'll agree that the side effects are worth attempt.

~Dr. Cavey

[FireAngel]

oh caver

[Dana]

Caver -
I adore you....you big silly.

[daisyd]

I feel so bad for you Pooh Fan. I think bringing her in is a great idea. Not quite what you had imagined, but I think you can spin it.

And Caver, youmakamelaugh!

[pumouse]

Oh my, we are laughing so hard we are crying! Cavey, you are one of a kind!

[dznygrl]

I completely forgot what I was going to say after reading Cavey's post!

That's a bummer that your DD found out. Hope she keeps it a secret so that at least SOMEONE in your family will be surprised!

[Erin]

ROFL!!!! Cavey!!! You big DORK!

[alicefan]

Dear Dr. Cavey,

You should seriously think about starting a help-column in your local news paper...Ask Dr. Cavey...or you should consider writing a book on child-rearing. Maybe Dr. Spock (if still alive - not sure) or Dr. Sears could use your insight...

Sincerely,

Hysterically Laughing in New Jersey

[Pooh Fan]

Thanks for the laugh Jeff. I was really upset about it, but I can at least see a bright side to all of this thanks to my friends here at DC. I've noticed her secretly going through the Disney books and if I know her she has her own plans written down. We are very alike in the fact that we love to plan our vacations. I just hope she keeps the secret from my son. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I wake him up and say come on we are going to the airport for a little trip and then to see the look on his face when we drive up to Disney and he sees the sign. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. I have broken the news to my DD that she will only get 2 Christmas and 2 birthday gifts and she was a little disappointed. Then, I reminded her that her biggest gift of all was supposed to be her surprise b-day celebration and Christmas at Disney World. Then, she got a big smile on her face. I think that I will try and order a special cake and have balloons and stuff put in the room for her b-day. Maybe that will help make her feel extra special too.

[Pooh Fan]

Originally Posted by Disneyfever

I'm sorry your DD found out about the surprise. That must have been so hard for you to plan the vacation for a year without the kids knowing anything. I think Dana's idea about bringing your DD in on the secret is a good one. Maybe she can help plan something that you will do at WDW. That would probably make her feell very special.
I don't think she will be upset about only getting two gifts for Christmas. A trip to WDW is so much better! We have some really neat dollar stores where I live. I don't know if you have any in Michigan, but they have some great stuff. Maybe you can find a couple of items there to add to her gifts.
And did I read correctly that you will be spending a MONTH there? How cool! I'm sure you will have a wonderful trip!!

Yes. We will be there for a month. We leave her on Dec. 9th and don't return home until very late on January 3. Since we are flying now instead of driving, we will have even more time at the parks! I can't wait. It is all that I can think about these days.

[fearless1123]

Personally, I enjoy the time spent looking forward to the trip. When the trip time comes it passes too quickly. This way, knowing ahead of time, I think she will get a lot more thrill out of the whole deal. As Pooh Fan said, she is looking at the Disney books. This gives her something to look forward to and be happy about every day.

As soon as I get home from a WDW trip I start planning my next one so I can look forward to it and I do get a thrill from that - having the countdown is really nice too. I like to announce the number of days left to my family every day or so.

Karen aka P Knitty (in Ohio)