[woohoo]

I have a question for you-
When you plan a big trip to WDW do you share the decision making with anyone? Who gets the final say? Do you disagree? Does the disagreement get ugly?

Here is my problem- DH never wants anything to do with the planning of the trip. Ill send him menus and Ill ask him questions and talk about planning and so on but he has no intrest and will even get loud about how I am over planning and so on!

But....

Just before we leave and even while we are there he will want to put in his say and try and change things- throws in his 2cents on things that are already planned and set in stone etc.... And then goes off on me about its always my way and he never has a say and so on.

Last night it was arguments of "why did you pick YOUR favorites for the map (when I picked the family favorites) and why did you put things we have never done in favorites?" then it turned into "I want to eat at LeCellier this time in Canada! You never let me do that" (when the real story is that he always changes his mind and we cancel our reservation last min) and then this time he chose to do Rose and Crown that night and see the fireworks but he again is changing his mind saying "I never committed to any place"

And it was also "When do we get a night of JUST US?" when he had told me not to book child care on the boat for the baby because he did not want to leave the baby behind anywhere and I was planning too many things on his relaxing cruise.....and he also went off on how he is mad that we are booked at early dining... he wants to eat only at the buffet- why didnt I get reservations for the buffet like he asked?" UGH!! How many millions of times do I have to explain that we are automaticly booked for dining on the boat and we can go to the buffet anytime we want???? Is he really that clueless??

Sometimes I think he does it just to get me upset or to make himself seem involved but I get so riled up that I end up in tears.

So what is the planning process like in your house?

[timsha]

Sorry to hear that Woohoo, and can not help you either. It is just Sharon and I (no kids), and as we both enjoy most of the same things, and with the number of times that we have been (30+), we just go with the flow.

[bikedealer]

That is to bad. I guess I take for granted sometimes how well we have it. As my DW and I do so little planning we pretty much go down and than wing it. After both of us working all the time when we get down there part of what we love is just go with the flow. Hope you can find an answer to your trip. Maybe have him do the whole plan. Goodluck and just have a magical time.

[llama]

DH is semi like that.

I do the majority of the planning and then at the last minute he'll start to get excited and throw me a curve ball. Surprisingly, this time he was very clear - he wanted to eat at LeCellier - so I did manage to get that.

We don't usually fight about the plans. We save all our good stuff for money arguments.

[Andrea]

Oh, geez, what's with the passive aggressive and the stinky attitude? I'm sorry.

I do almost all the planning, and I ask DH what he wants to do, and he gives me minimal input. He just lets me go.

[llama]

You stick to your guns about dining on the cruise - you'll miss some real magic if you don't.

The buffets will be there for breakfast and lunch - but dinner on a Disney cruise is a real event.

[chottsy]

sorry DH is giving you a hard time. maybe he just wants to "feel" like he has a say?? if there is a way you can manage to let him "think" he's had input maybe that will help.

this is our 1st trip with DD, so i decided to plan it, rather than wing it. winging it worked fine for us in the past without kids, but just didn't want to go that route with DD in tow. DH was thrilled not to have to do anything but drive us over and pay for everything :)

~ he's very easy going.

[palmickey]

I do all the planning but Brenda does put a little input in for the dining plans. She doesn't complain about my plans though. The last trip we took the kids with us and we let them make most of the decisions, it was ok but some of it we wouldn't have done. This trip two of our co-workers/friends are going with us and they said to make all the plans ourselves, anything we pick will be fine... I just hope they enjoy this trip.

[Disneyfever]

I'm sorry your DH is giving you such a hard time. I guess he has selective memory when you tell him you already asked for his input in the planning stages! Maybe next time you could put some selections down in writing where he can just choose from a list or something.

My dh wants nothing to do with the planning at all. I have to decide everything. But that's ok, everything always works out in the end and we all have a great time.

[bali]

Originally Posted by Andrea

Oh, geez, what's with the passive aggressive and the stinky attitude?

For real.

So sorry you have to deal with that. It's not fair.

[daisyd]

I can somewhat relate to you woohoo.

My DH thiks he's still "Mr-flys-by-the-seat-of-his-pants" and HATES to plan a trip ANYWHERE-- I'm talking about the actuall 'go here on this day and do this' kind of planning. He think's he's still in his 20's tripping around Europe and Asia where the wind blows. Oh, and he doesn't like to talk much about it until we are about a month away So, I guess I can say we fight over the structure on a trip, lol.

It sounds as if you have been down the road before with DH, and although I'm sorry you were in tears, I'd bet you two always find some sort of common ground in the end You have planned a wonderful trip for your family, and even if it changes a bit here or there you'll still have a wonderful trip.

[mickeymommy]

Ours totally depends on what else is going on. DH works retail, so right now he's really too tired and distracted to care about anything else. Meanwhile, I'm planning our cruise and shopping for dresses, etc. He even agreed last night that he needs to get more into it, but in the end he'll be happy that I just handled it all and I'll take care of the packing and everything for him (I don't usually do that!)
For WDW, it's definantly up to me, because he really does not care. He's not a Disney fanatic, so those trips are WAY more important to me! He always has a good time and usually we just go with the flow. If he really feels strongly about something, he will let me know!
Sorry your DH is giving you such grief!

[alicefan]

Why don't you each pick a couple of places that you want to eat and try them all? Maybe he just wants to feel in control - that's a man thing.

My DH is so easy going with just about everything. He loves that I over-plan our trips. Usually, I make an itinerary and then we stick to it somewhat....other times we don't even look at it. It's not about having control, it's about having fun. Make some reservations and then if you don't feel like keeping them when the day comes, just do something else. Don't be mad that your husband changed his mind about a night alone and child care - be happy he wants to be alone with you. Maybe you would feel better if the baby was at the same place as your older kids so they can look out for each other? I'm not a big baby sitter person myself but I would feel better if I knew Em was there to keep an eye on him.

I hope you guys can get past this and focus on having a wonderful vacation.

[E&B's Mom]

I'm so sorry this is frustrating you. I'm pretty lucky. DH leaves all the planning to me, and I do ask his opinion each time - and he gives it if he has one. If he doesn't have an opinion he defers to my decision. He's always happy with what the trip turns out like. Stick to your guns and try to explain. Tell hime had the chance for an opinion early, but make concessions where you can. If it's to late for an ADR he wants, he's out of luck.

[USASMIG789]

Mom and I planned together for the last trip, usually agreeing or at least compromising. Jim (AKA Disney Stepdad or DSD) didnt want ANYTHING to do with it. But when we actually got there, since we made a flexible itinerary of what to do, DSD messed it all up and we ended up only doing about half of what we wanted to do... which we'll finish everything up in APRIL.