[Dana]

Today I had to make a horrible choice. I hope that it is not true when they say that bad things happen in threes. I can't say there is anyone I want to see go through what I just had to do. The other day, when Kim posted her thread about losing her beloved Sammy, I had responded mentioning my 13 year old Collie Kodi, who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. The tumor that she had was in her female area and an operation was not an option. The vet told me that she wouldn't survive the operation because of her age and the bad shape she is in (she's been on minor pain med for arthritis (sp?) for 2 years). The last few days, she hasn't been able to control her bodily functions and was vomitting. I called the Vet yesterday and made the appointment for this morning at 9:30am. Poor Kodi had to be put down. Because of her bad circulation and poor vains, the vet had to inject her four times. This dog fought it till the end and I feel like a complete monster. I do not reccomend anyone going through this. I couldn't leave her, so I sat through the entire procedure. In the end, they decided to go through the jugular. I had to leave at that point, because I cannot imagine watching this. My loyal old lady went out in a horrible way. I feel as though I made the wrong choice and even though the vet told me it was time, I can't help feeling I should have waited. I have exactly 4 hours to compose myself before I pick up my DD from school. How am I suppose to tell her? Will she think I am horrible for what I have done? We have been talking about this for awhile. I explained how cruel it is to watch tis poor animal suffer when all she has giving me is complete love and loyalty for 13 wonderful years. I'm calling on all of you for support. I cannot tell you how crushed I am. Please tell me that I have made the right decision. Expect many posts in the next few hours. I need something happy to focus on. I cannot go into my room where she slept and I cannot muster to look at my other dog who is looking at me as if I am guilty. I'm sorry to have dumped this on all of you. I just don't have anyone to call and I can't stand this utter sadness that I feel. Thansk for putting up with me guys. I truley enjoy each and every one of you.:cry: :cry: :cry:

[MickeyMamma]

Oh Dana! My heart is breaking for you. Pets become such a big part of our lives. My little dog has helped me get through alot over the year by just being there for a cuddle and some kisses.

Not sure what to say about telling your daughter. I remember when my mom had to tell me about our dog way back and it still makes me a little sad to think about it, although I remember it being even harder for my mom to deal with.

Dig in to the boards, I will look forward to your posts.

Oh yeah, you can concentrate on trying to come up with a poem to beat mine in the "Where in Disney" game ;)

Sending you lots of moral support

[preidel24]

Dana,

My good friends dog had a stroke yeasterday and is just hanging in there so I what your going through. Her dog is (15) and he has lived a great life but it's never easy to let go of a loved pet. You did make the right decision and that why it hurts so bad right now. You made the decision to look pass your needs of wanting Kodi to live in pain and you left her go and now although it's hard she's at peace. I appauld you for making that difficult decision. Just focus on the positives your daughter, will take her ques from you. You've had many wonderful years with Kodi and nothing can erase that. Explain to you DD that Kodi was very sick and now she in a better place and is not sick anymore. Then take your time to heal from your loss. Don't forget that your other pets where her companion to they are not looking at you as a monster but they are probably wondering where they housemate is. I will pray for you and your daughter for comfort and strength through this difficult time.

Would you like me to send your DD a postcard to cheer her up from WDW I be gald to include a little surprise from Kodi (a little keepsake) to remember her by. Maybe a "goofy" necklace or braclet of some sort. I'd buy it for her that would be our gift to Kodi.

Take care,

paula

[Dana]

Thanks MickeyMomma. I 'll work on the poem. I'll stump you sooner or later....maybe. You're pretty good at that game and your poems are top notch. I think if I manage to control myself when I tell her, she'll be alright. She will only get upset if I am. I think a trip to the Disney store is in order.

Paula - Thanks so much for your kind words. A postcard would be lovely, but please not from Kodi. I don't think I could handle seeing that. Thanks so much for the kind offer. My DD got a huge kick out of her other postcard and would love another. I'll PM you the info. My other baby, Kita, will be getting tons of extra love right now. She hasn't been getting her walks becasue Kodi hasn't been able to make it and I felt bad taking one and not the other. So, she will go back to her regualr walks and get tons of extra love. I feel bad for how lonely she is going to get.

[noahsark45331]

Dana, I am so sorry you have had to go through this. I had to do the same thing about 5 years ago with our Dobie. She was 16 (twice the age most dobies live) and suffering greatly. As hard as it is, this is a fact of life. I am glad you have been talking with your DD about this before it happened. I remember as a child having a pet in the same situation. I begged my mother to let me go when she took her to the vet. Mother said she would but did it while I was at school. I cried for hours that night, but my mother did do the right thing. It is part of the growing process of life. I will pray for you and your DD. That you will have peace that you did the right thing. YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER!! That your DD will understand. And that this will be an opprotunity for the two of you to grow even closer. (I know you are close now)
Remember, what you did was hard on you, but Kodie is no longer suffering. She is free from pain. Love is so painful sometimes. It is obvious that you loved her.

[MickeyRon]

I am soooo sorry that you had to make this discision today! However, please know that love has to make hard decisions and you med the correct decision. Unfortunately, they don't make a magic drug to take away the sorrow and pain of lossing someone or something that we love! However, there will be brighter days because of this...without the valley you there would be no moutains, without rain no sunshine! I know that must not be very comforting... please know that all of your DC friends will be thinking and praying for you!

I have no idea what to tell your DD, but I know that others will have suggestions and I will be praying that the right words come to you!

Again... I am sooo sorry...

[tinkerbell]

Dana, I know how horrible a choice that was to make, I am sure the vet was right ..that the suffering she was going through was not the way for her to live. One of my Cockatiels became egg bound 2 years ago and even though the vet did all he could she couldnt recover. The only thing that kept me from falling apart was I had to tend to the eggs she had already laid and then raise her babies. ( who are currently the most spoiled birds in the world) but I still miss her so much.
I hope you soon find comfort in the fact that you did what was the kindest thing you could. You helped end her suffering. It would have been more selfish to have allowed her to continue on as she was.

[Dana]

Thanks Tink and thanks guys for your support.:cry:

[iluvwdw]

Oh Dana.....I know just what you are going through and it is soooo hard!!! I have been a mess all week about it, and there has been so many other BAD things to happen to my family (hubby's too) that I won't even post here...so it was a TERRIBLE start to what has to be one of the worst weeks in my life.

YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER, let me just say that upfront. Your precious baby was in pain and you had to put her out of her misery. I am sorry that the first shot didn't take, but rest assured, it was the best thing to do for her. You would have NEVER done it if you didn't have to...please do not beat yourself up. I have been doing it all week and it isn't good...I am walking around in such a catatonic state, everyone knows something is wrong with me by just looking at my face. I also feel that I haven't really grieved for him since all of this other death and sickness in my family has happened this week too....I won't get into that now. Let's just say , I have been a COMPLETE mess this week, and when I can log onto DC for a few minutes, it makes me feel a little better.

Dana, if I can help you in any way, please PM me. We can go through it together. We are all one big happy family here!!! :love:

[llama]

Oh Dana, my heart is breaking for you.

What more can be said? Only those of us who have and love pets know that it is like losing a member of the family. How dreadful for you to have to be alone at the vets.

But Dana, like everyone else has said, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. You are definitely not a monster, but a caring, loving and responsible pet owner. Our pets trust us to do the right thing for them and Kodi knew that that was what you were doing.I know it's SO HARD. I hope you have lots of support from your family and friends. Don't be afraid to ask for it and don't be afraid to cry and mourn Kodi. Those who love their pets will understand and those who don't aren't worth worrying about.

Of course Sara's heart wll be broken. And I guess it breaks mothers' hearts to know there is nothing we can do. Just hold her and love her and mourn together. You did right by discussing this with her before hand. And children are marvelously knowlegeable and understanding about things like this. More so than adults I think. I know that it seems trite to say time heals all wounds, because I know you never forget, but slowly the pain will lessen and you will be able to remember Kodi with a smile and know that she is well, and happy and in heaven now. And people who tell you animals are not in heaven don't have a clue! Who are more faithful, loving and deserving?

One thing that we did when our little dog died was plant a little rose bush to his memory. It is still growing and I think of him often when I'm in the garden - so maybe, when the first hurt and shock is passed you and Sara could discuss doing something in Kodi's memory. And you keep posting and reaching out to us here at DC for as long as you need and want. Isn't it good to know that in all your sorrow there are people from all over, different countries, different walks of life, different cultures, but all bound by understanding. Take care. Get lots of rest. Sorry this is so long, but we're here for you girl.:heart

[Dana]

I have never been as proud of the family I have made on Disney Central than I am today. It's a honor and a privedge to be a part of this extended family. You guys have given me a little bit of hope about people in general. Thanks for all the kind words and well wishes. I don't think I'd be able to get through this without all of you. Thanks again for allowing me to be a part of this wonderful group of people.:love:

[DisneyTeacher]

I am so sorry Dana, I know what you are going through today is tough and will get harder when you have to help your daughter get through this. I think what you did is the best thing you could have done for a dog that was such a good friend.

I had to make the same decision a couple of years ago. My 18 year old Shih Tzu I got as a kid had cancer, was blind and deaf. She reached a point where she was in too much pain to go on. It was the hardest decision I have ever made but it was the only fair thing to do for a dog that gave me 18 great years. I know in my heart that I made the right choice and have never second guessed my choice. She was in too much pain and didn't need to be. I was lucky, my DH took her to the vet at 11pm and stayed with her the whole time.

I believe you did the right thing, your daughter didn't need to see what you saw at the vet today. She would remember that trip to the vet forever and for a kid I am not sure that is a good thing. She may tell you that she wanted to be there and wish you waited but you wouldn't want her to see that. You have to decided how much you tell her before she gets home today.

Please don't blame yourself, you had a choice to make for a pet and you made it and now you have to understand you did what you had to do. Our kids take ques from us, your daughter will know if you are second guessing this decision so please don't.

Your daughter will be sad but she will make it through this. Let her cry and cry with her then do something special this weekend together.

Again, I am sorry.

[jmouse]

I am so sorry, Dana. You have made what I think is one of life's most difficult decisions. There comes a time when you must decide what is best for your beloved pet. You have done so. May you take comfort in the many years you shared with your pet.

{{hugs}}


"Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special to them; who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to break away from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. YOU have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together......."
(~Anonymous)

[cbeccaboo2]

Dana, Please, please, please don't blame yourself!! You made the one and only choice you had and the one you in your heart you felt was right. Don't beat your self up about it. Our four legged friends are a part of our families and it is a very hard decision to make when we are faced with the decisions. I have been there my self on more than one occasion.

Just remember that your little love one is in a better place now and not in any pain any longer. It will be hard for awhile and your DD will have some tears and may not understand, but we all go through that when a love one passes to the other side.

Please know that we are all here for you and if you need anything, just know that you can either post something and we are all her to love and support you, and you can PM me any time just to talk.

Bless you and your family,

Becca

[Huakai]

Dana, I feel your pain. Reading what you have gone through today and all the kind words has brought back the memory of having my 16yr old Annie put down a couple of years ago. It was hard to do and looking back, my biggest regret is that I didn't do it sooner. I let her suffer far longer than I should have out of my selfishness in wanting to keep her with us. I don't think it was any easier by waiting and I feel bad that I didn't do it a year before, when it should have been done.

You absolutely did the right thing!!

As for what to tell your DD, you might think about sharing with her a little of your pain and how hard it was to go through. Maybe she would understand a bit about how hard it would have been for her to be there and understand that in your love for her, you protected her from an unnecessary painful experience.

My heart and prayers to you and your family for your loss. :heart