[Dana]

A friend sent me this email. He always knows when I need a good laugh...it's a mystery on how he knew I needed on this weekend because I haven't spoke to him in weeks. Anyhoo, you think you have your "blonde moments" read about these:


I left out the title because it wasn't family-friendly but the rest is pretty funny.

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in
the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed
up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the
lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot, the
man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE:
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having aproblem. No matter how hard they
tried, they couldn't get their brand
new 22 ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how
much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they
putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was
wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the
correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water
to check underneath, he came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER ...THIS IS TRUE... Under the boat, still strapped securely
in place, was the trailer.

[disneydana]

Very funny! You're right. It made me laugh, thanks!

[aurora'stwin]

That was too funny!!! That does make me feel better about having my blonde moments, i.e., locking myself in the security room only to find the "Push Here to Exit" button right next to the door.
Dumb criminals/boaters....

[noahsark45331]

Thanks Dana! I really needed a good laugh right now. Been a kind of downer day.

[llama]

Thanks Dana. Laughter is the best medicine.:laugh

[LAURENGOLD]

Dana-
That was great!!! My DH is LOL right now!!!


Thanks for the chuckles:laugh


Lauren

[mickaholic4077]

Dana,you should e-mail this to Jay Leno!!!!

[goofy]

Those are awesome!

#3 is my favorite.:D

[Dana]

I am glad everyone enjoyed it. We should keep bumping it up in case anyone is having a rough day and needs a quick ggiggle.

[mickaholic4077]

Okay,I'll bump it up!!!!

[coasterman2002]

I needed a good laugh today, and I just got a few. I like the boating story the best. Thanks Dana:D

[Dana]

Originally posted by coasterman2002
I needed a good laugh today, and I just got a few. I like the boating story the best. Thanks Dana:D

Me too! That was the funniest one I think. Your welcome. Glad you got the laugh you needed.:)