[chastmastr]

Cubby and I just started both singing "Schadenfreude" from Avenue Q (not seen, just heard the song) when I read that...

Anyway, I came back out and had a long debate with Scary Mother Person about the emotional and volitional aspects of forgiveness and we seemed to work things out. Or so it seemed!! We ended up going to a local beach, where Cubby and I mainly... sat in chairs, and I slept a lot, while the guests explored the beach for a few hours.

Oh, yes, it is not to be forgotten in all this that in most/all of these trips, Cubby's often in his motorized wheelchair and I'm using a cane that folds out into a chair. Which, looking back, makes the mother's behavior come across as even more inappropriate. The last time she'd seen Cubby he'd been much more able-bodied, for instance, so you'd think she'd feel more sympathy. And Lord, yes, of course we want to lose weight, get in better shape, and not need wheelchairs or canes or any of that sort of thing, we know it's not as if this is wholly out of our control and we can make changes in our habits which will help us be healthier, but at the same time, right now we're the ones struggling with moving from point A to point B or needing vehicular assistance, for goodness' sake, and she still acted the way she did. That didn't even occur to me until just now. (Okay, I'm slow...)

So, for instance, the first night when they wandered around the beach, Cubby and I were waiting in the car for them, perfectly happy to do so, but not getting to really join in. And we weren't complaining or resentful of this; heck, it's ironic (or... is it?) that we're more in touch with being able to relax and enjoy Disney, local cool stuff, etc. than these people who (in theory) can cavort about, should they care to do so, with abandon. Er, not people, person. The daughter was fine throughout -- heck, when the big blow-up -- to which we are, by degrees, approaching (it was on Monday and we're still on Sunday here) occurred, she was much more the rational peacemaker than anyone (I'd finally reached a point of being arguably justly enraged, but still furiously angry), as well as being more open to happiness and stuff.

[DisneyWorldFan]

The "mother" sounds like a real itch! Can I assume that she won't be invited back?

[chastmastr]

Originally Posted by DisneyWorldFan

Can I assume that she won't be invited back?

Bingo. Seeing them again, since we really do like the daughter (and in a few years she might be very well-suited for a local honors college I went to myself in Sarasota -- we'd already all discussed that as an option they might want to look into, though it wasn't planned for this trip), would not be a problem, just without having them, or more specifically the mother, stay with us. Small doses, without the awkward host/guest 24/7 dynamic, could work a lot better. But we'll really have to see.

Of course this is leaving out the good bits. The mother's not an idiot or anything, and we found out some good stuff about some health-related/medical things (she works in nursing). (Some incorrect notions from our former friends in Tampa have been, happily, corrected, and I confirmed this info with another source.) I think my frustration with things being unresolved led me to some new insights about my own attitude in general, which may nip some of those panic attacks I've mentioned in the bud, because they're based on some unhealthy approaches to life in general. And the daughter is very cool -- she loves anime and is learning Japanese in school (yes, she goes to a high school where she can take it as a subject, wow!), so we got in what anime we could and she got to see some new shows she'd never seen before. It was very cool meeting a fellow anime fan!! Very intelligent, very mature.

David

[tiggerlover1971]

wow what a witch sorry that you had to endure that ...

[Daisee]

Wow.. what an inconsiderate guest! I would have offered to find her the nearest hotel.

[Andrea]

"Schadenfreude" indeed, because this is fascinating... and you're telling it too slow!

[dixie]

Gosh David and Cubby I am astounded by this guest's lack of manners in your home. However, I can sense reading between the lines that you really felt for the daughter's position in this very fractious situation. The poor girl must have been beside herself at her mother's very bad attitude and behaviour, and furthermore, all credit to your patience, I believe many other hosts would have shown this 'lady' the door as she had soon outstayed her welcome!
Now I can not wait for the 'MK' episode- please, Dr Banner- tell all!

[chastmastr]

Additionally -- our original plans had been to use our DVC points to stay there with them -- but because she let us know so late when her time off would be, NOTHING was available -- we were really bummed about that and the 2-day WDW trip was sort of a best-we-could-do substitute, though they were quite fine about all that as they weren't sure how much they'd like Disney, and the daughter was excited about the beach etc. We were bummed -- at the time!! Because we would have wasted those points and now we have them all!!

[chastmastr]

So Sunday we went to a local beach, and Cubby and I sat in our beach chairs (and I fell asleep) while they wandered around the beach for a few hours...

[tiggerlover1971]

geeze we want to hear the breakdown in MK already ( LOL ) sorry I am just impatient ..... David You had more patience with her then I would have I probably would have kicked her out after her yelling at me ...

[Daisee]

Originally Posted by tiggerlover1971

geeze we want to hear the breakdown in MK already ( LOL ) sorry I am just impatient ..... David You had more patience with her then I would have I probably would have kicked her out after her yelling at me ...

Yeah.. we want to hear about Disney..

oh.. and I would have wanted to kick her out too Cheryl!!

[WishUponAStar]

Originally Posted by quakercub

The mother was quite angry. She had mentioned that waiting around was taking away a lot of time from sightseeing and that she didn't like that. This particular morning, she expressed her displeasure thusly, "I'm not comfortable with how much of my daughter's and my vacation is being taken up by waiting for other people." She railed for a few minutes and we expressed our apologies. When Daddybear suggested that we all forgive each other and move on, she replied that she was not ready to do that yet and she'd let us know when she was. More to come, but dinner calls

If she didn't want to spend her vacation time in the hands of other people why didn't she stay at a hotel & rent a car to have her independance? Then they could have gone sight-seeing whenever they pleased. This is an interesting TR for sure! I am sorry you experienced so much grief with a house guest! I hope things got better, I am going to keep on reading...

[WishUponAStar]

I want to hear about the MK day!!!!

[DisneyTeacher]

Originally Posted by WishUponAStar

If she didn't want to spend her vacation time in the hands of other people why didn't she stay at a hotel & rent a car to have her independance? Then they could have gone sight-seeing whenever they pleased. This is an interesting TR for sure! I am sorry you experienced so much grief with a house guest! I hope things got better, I am going to keep on reading...

I agree, if she wanted more control she should have stayed in a hotel and rented a car. It sounds like she wanted you to plan her vacation every day until she didn't like it. I hope the next time she calls you give her the name of a few local hotels, no need to go through this again.

Great trip report. Having a grumpy person puts an interesting twist on the usual trip report.

[chastmastr]

Since dwelling on it is making me grouchy a bit, I've asked Cubby and he will complete this one... (Plus I am also working on those aspects of the house which I can do, rather than paying the handyman to do everything. We want him to do the stuff it's hard for us to do, not absolutely everything, you see...)