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Old 01-09-2008   #1 (permalink)
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not happy about first night at the college program

Ok my DD left today for disney called me when she got down there so happy . just about bursting, called me tonite in tears. they got done with the meeting and they just left them on their own. she is that far away, no car no way to get to the store no groceries. she said there is a mcdonalds within walking distance but she was exhausted from the day[ left this morning at 7:00 never went to sleep last night she was nervous.] I wanted to driveher down and make sure she got settled but she needed to do this on her own. Ok im probably over reacting. she is homesick and exhausted. she is short on money and cant get to the ATM until tomorrow. cab ride cost fifty bucks from the airport to the apartment complex.is this normal?
I would have thought they would do something tonite to help them get settled. something like a get together dinner or something. is this the way they treat them or is this just first night jitters? please someone make me feel better truth please I actually want her to just get the next flight home if this is how it is going to be.
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Old 01-09-2008   #2 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

I am sure she is going to be just fine and is just homesick like you said. She isn't going to starve to death. She is there working and it's not like a summer camp or anything where they are totally responsible for her. Try to relax and leave her to her own devices...she can handle this. You raised a good kid and you have to let her figure this out on her own. Let her make some friends and get settled. Pep talk her up and keep her excited about it. It's a great experience.
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Old 01-09-2008   #3 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

told you i was over-reacting. it is jsut so hard to hear her crying and not be able to be there to fix it. MY dH asked her if she wanted to come home and she said no. Im jsut so far away and im acting like a mom.
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Old 01-09-2008   #4 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

Aww, she'll be ok. But I am sure it was not easy to hear her crying over the phone and knowing you really can't do anything for her.

Just think how much more confident and mature she will be after this experience!!
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Old 01-09-2008   #5 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

faerie, we have a few CP alums on this site, so give them a chance to check in and answer your questions.

Or you can read through the other CP threads, and even send a private message to some of the members who have been there or who are there now. They'll help you out with all the scoop!

Hang in there, this sounds like what my kids have done at school trips and so forth... after a day or two, they meet people and they are off and running in their happy new adventure!
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Old 01-09-2008   #6 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

You are just being a good mom by wanting to help and protect her! Just remember that you raised her to be self sufficient. She will be fine, she has had a very emotional day-(leaving home, traveling alone, going to Disney, and going to work at Disney, being self supportive... all of this in one day and with no sleep!)

Just remember that she is beyond tired and really needs some sleep. She will figure all of this out, and with a clear head-once she gets some rest.

You are well justified to help her-that is your great mothering instinct kicking in. Tell her to give it a few days, and as she meets people and gets some friends, it will probably get better!

Hang in there!
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Old 01-09-2008   #7 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana
I am sure she is going to be just fine and is just homesick like you said. She isn't going to starve to death. She is there working and it's not like a summer camp or anything where they are totally responsible for her. Try to relax and leave her to her own devices...she can handle this. You raised a good kid and you have to let her figure this out on her own. Let her make some friends and get settled. Pep talk her up and keep her excited about it. It's a great experience.
Leave it up to you, Dana, to find the right thing to say.

She'll be just fine. Relax.
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Old 01-09-2008   #8 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

I went through the same thing, calling my mom in tears ALL THE TIME lol
You know what though? Most of the time things wern't even that bad but there is something about hearing your moms voice that just makes you cry, and honestly if she were to leave the contract early I'm 100% sure she'd regreat it later. I almost left halfway through my contract, so I booked some time off and came home for a visit, by the time I was heading back to Florida I was homesick for Disney! I am soooo glad I didn't leave, I would have regreated it for the rest of my life.
It can be annoying how far you are from things, I was in the commons which is even further off (is she in Vista Way? or Chathem?)
But as soon as she makes a few friends it won't feel so lonely, everyone becomes SO close there so fast because everyone is in the same boat with no family around. They literally become your second family and it's amazing.

So don't stress :) Just be a loving ear for her to cry to (and maybe send her a $20 - those Disney wages aren't too good lol)
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Old 01-09-2008   #9 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

thanks you all. no matter how much we know our kids are adults it is hard to stop being mommy. my DH is even worse he is jsut so worried. thanks so much for all of your help. I know im being overprotective. Money is being deposited tommorow. that is the best I can do from Pa. i want this to work as this is always been her dream.. can any of the cm from college program PM me and let me know what we can expect. I dont think we asked the right questions. and since she is over 18 there was not much she can do. Im worreid aobut her getting to the store for groceries. walmart for that kind of stuff. back and forth to work etc. should she have a car down there? how mcuh should i plan on sending her. help please by the way she is at Vista she said there is a mcdonalds wendys and burger king right near the entrance to the development is it safe area?
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Old 01-09-2008   #10 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

I have no doubt that I would have had the same reaction as your DD...excited when I got there, but in tears by the first night. It's got to be completely overwhelming.

(I actually cried on my first VACATION to WDW just because I was overwhelmed by traveling all day, not eating regular meals, and being all the way across the country for the first time. By the second day, I was ecstatic to be there of course! )

It is only natural for you guys to worry...no parent wants to hear their kid in tears and know that they are far away on their own!

She will be great, just give her some time...maybe send her a care package with some of her favorite things, whether it be some sentimental items from home, or just a few of her favorite snacks. The littlest things will make a big difference while she's settling in!
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Old 01-09-2008   #11 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

She is not stranded there. They have bus transportation to Walmart, Publix, the post office, etc. Busses go to all work areas. She will be fine without a car. She needs to learn the bus system, and she will have no problem getting around. I had a car while I was there, but I found it easier to take the bus, because I didn't know my way around town, it kept me from getting lost, didn't have to buy gas, didn't have to worry about parking, and I met other students on the bus.

It sounds like the reality of being away from home hit her hard, but she will be okay. This is a great opportunity to learn to be independent.

There is also at ATM at each apt complex.
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Old 01-10-2008   #12 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

Just remember, most of our worrying is wasted & for nothing. For some reason we feel if we worry, it will make us feel better. If we don't worry, then we feel guilty for not worrying. Either way, she is going to do great. This will be a life changing experience for her. She will have grown in so many ways the next time you see her. You are going to be so proud of her accomplishments, just wait!!
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Old 01-10-2008   #13 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

im proud of her jsut for attempting this. i think it is amazing these kids go off and do this. it isnt like going away to college where most of your needs are right there. we all were so sleep deprived yesterday we got up at 2 am to take her to baltimore for the plane. i then went to work and had to work a full day by the time i got home i was unraveling. so I cant imagine how hard it was for her. i am very sorry we didnt take her down it seems most of the other people had thier parents there so they all went out and she was left alone her first night ...we wanted to drive her down but she didnt want me to ahve to use vacation...Id feel better if i had takenher down and knew she was settled in. thanks so much for all of your support you guys are the best. we are putting more money in her account and i will send her some stuff tonite in the mail..
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Old 01-10-2008   #14 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

faeire, I am so glad you checked back in here... you got some good scoop from vlogilvie and everyone else on here. Your DD is going to do great, especially since she has such a terrific support system at home!

So, now it is time for her to get to her day job, and what an adventure that is goign to be, whatever it is! Do you know what her job is yet?
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Old 01-10-2008   #15 (permalink)
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Re: not happy about first night at the college program

Quote:
Originally Posted by faerie dust
im proud of her jsut for attempting this. i think it is amazing these kids go off and do this. it isnt like going away to college where most of your needs are right there. we all were so sleep deprived yesterday we got up at 2 am to take her to baltimore for the plane. i then went to work and had to work a full day by the time i got home i was unraveling. so I cant imagine how hard it was for her. i am very sorry we didnt take her down it seems most of the other people had thier parents there so they all went out and she was left alone her first night ...we wanted to drive her down but she didnt want me to ahve to use vacation...Id feel better if i had takenher down and knew she was settled in. thanks so much for all of your support you guys are the best. we are putting more money in her account and i will send her some stuff tonite in the mail..

Hang in there. She is going to be just fine. There had to be a time in life where you sent her from the nest to fly solo. I am sure it's scary for you both and I don't look forward to the point in my life where I have to let my DD go in this same way, but it's something that has to be done. You have prepared her for life in the best way you know how. You have taught her what is right and wrong and how to fend for herself. IT's time she shows you that you have done a great job right? You will be down there in mere months for SW weekend and will see that she is settled in just fine. IT's all good momma bird...let her go and fend for herself. She is going to be great. Keep pepping her up, don't talk negative about her being alone and most of all don't keep offering to come and get her....let her do this .....it's very important for her to do this alone. The confidence and independence she will gain from sticking this out will be worth the silent worry you and your DH will have. I say silent cause it's essential you don't show her any of it.
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