[Isaiah2k6]

My fellow mouse buzzers,
Yours truly, has recently gone through a Divorce. By recent I mean, the papers were just signed on November 1st. Well, Im moving on, enjoying life and excited about the opportunities ahead of me. I only have one question....problem...whatever you might want to call it. I have only been to Disneyworld twice...and both times were with my ex-wife. The second time I made reservations she was mad at first,eventually got excited about the idea and we had a good time, but she did warn me that if I made reservations again, she would divorce me. So I knew we wouldnt be going back again any time soon. (and no, we did not get divorced b/c I made reservations again, ha ha ) . Well, I have my mind made up that I want to go back to Disneyworld for a 3rd time, next December. Im honestly a little afraid that I wont enjoy myself because the whole time Im there, It will be a constant reminder of the two previous times I went with her. We both wanted the divorce and it was a clean break. No kids involved, nothing like that. Were both still young. Im 25 and shes 23. I am just hoping that next December doesnt roll around,and I have a new girlfriend and we go to disney,and the whole time were there, I cant enjoy myself. To put the "icing on the cake" so to speak, the two times we went to disney was in December for our wedding anniversary and honeymoon. I love it in december, they have the christmas decorations up,and the weather is perfect,and the crowds are light. What would you all do in my situation ? Is it reasonable to think that I am capable of bringing another companion to the exact same place,at the exact same time of year, as my ex wife, and still have a good time ? For my sake, i hope so. But I dont want to make a $3500-$4000 mistake either. I dont want to get over there and be miserable and not have a good time. So far, the only thing I can think of that would somewhat take the awkwardness out of the situation would be to stay at a resort we havent stayed at before. But thats kinda a small step. I'd Still have the memories of all the rides we rode and shows we watched together to overcome. Is it fair to whomever I bring to try to accomplish such a thing ? Or should I start out with a small step and just take a family member like my brother ? Then the next time I went, the freshest memories in my mind would be of the time I went with my brother,and not my ex wife ? MY WORST fear is jumping on a ride and blurting out the dreaded phrase "yeah, i love this ride, me and my ex wife rode it when we came here in 2005&2007" . See what im battling here ? So if anyone has any suggestions, or possibly you have been in this situation, I would greatly appreciate some advice. I dont want Disneyworld to be ruined for me. Its supposed to be the happiest place on earth, and Im having second thoughts of going....somethings not right.

[LittleMissMagic]

Well.... I have been to WDW with many different people and have enjoyed myself each time.

I understand how WDW will bring back memories and such. I find myself saying "remember when?" a lot.

I know this sounds crazy..... but why not go alone? I know there are several people on MB who take solo trips to WDW. I wouldn't mind taking a solo trip to WDW. This way the only person you have to please is yourself. You can do whatever you want to do and not have to worry about a girlfriend who doesn't like rollercoasters or a brother who doesn't want to go on the carousel. You can sleep in late.... get up early.... ride its a small world over and over and over again. It's a lot more flexible.

And you don't have to worry about being lonely.... WDW is far from that. CMs are always ready to engage in conversation and give you advice on what to do next. Not to mention there's a lot of WDW guests who would like a new friend. Hang out by the pool bars and chat with the husbands ready to ditch their families (if you golf, bring your clubs - you might just get yourself and invitation). I think alone time would give you time to create new, happy memories. That way, whenever you're ready to bring a new companion to WDW, your solo vacation will be fresh on your mind.

I think it's a great idea to go to WDW.

[jk8]

Once again, Victoria, you are wise beyond your years. I think that is excellent advice!

[Isaiah2k6]

I considered going by myself, it definitly has its perks. I could spend about the same amount of money as it would take for 2 people,but since its just me, I could stay in a nicer resort,have a limo take me to and from the airport instead of waiting in the long line for the magic express,and having to go through the pain of bringing my luggage back up to the lobby from my room,on the day I leave to get back on the magic express going back to the airport.but I'm naturally a shy person. I'm not the social butterfly that can go out there and just chat it up with random people.I'm the wallflower that will sit by myself on the bus going to and from the parks, not talk to people in line while waiting for rides,and eating by myself would be weird especially the sit-down restaurants u need reservations for.

[LittleMissMagic]

Well, it definately depends on what you would be comfortable with. However, you could use this as an opportunity to "blossom." If you were to go solo, I'd actually recommend ADRs for sit-down restaurants.... Biergarten is a dinner-show type restaurant that seats you with strangers, so that would be a good option. Character meals would also be good choices. Since you'd be alone, the characters would probably pay you extra attention. And it might feel incredibly girly, but a princess restaurant like Akershus would introduce you to several attractive young ladies. Plus you could always bring a book to read if it feels awkward eating by yourself.

Do whatever you're comfortable with, though. Nothing worse than feeling awkward on your happy WDW vacation....

[gemdisney]

I love Victoria's idea. I know a very good friend who went alone and had the best time in her life. She met a great family who kind of included her in a lot they did and she had a blast with them. But as for me, I couldn't do it, so...
Also as you mentioned, going with your brother is a great idea too! I would love to go with my cousin and just have the best time together without the family. I've gone with Mom, Aunt & cousin and we had a great time. I've done the honeymoon thing and if we divorced I would let NOTHING get in the way of me enjoying Disney. Sure there will be memories but your at Disney and they are a fleeting moment. Go, have a blast and don't let the past stop your future.

[johnkimv]

I totally agree with Victoria and think you should ride solo for the first time around. I think it will be very theraputic for you since you obviously have concerns about comparing that trip to others you have take with your ex.

Oh, how I would LOVE to do Disney by myself!! DH usually does what ever I plan, but to not have to worry about him or the kids- AAHHHHH!!!

Stay somewhere fancy. Eat at fancy places. Do some tours that you normally wouldn't. Go, relax and have a great time!

If I recall correctly, Wish did a quick trip recently solo and seemed to have had a great time!!

[Andrea]

I am generally not social with strangers, but I had a blast going to Disneyland alone. WDW would be a similar experience.

It's all about where your head is. If you spend the whole time testing yourself or self-creating some drama ("Am I missing my ex? Was it better before? Is it awful that I'm alone?") you won't have a good time. I went in knowing I was going to enjoy the heck out of everything while pleasing nobody but myself, and it was the best trip ever.

But here's another important consideration: Are you generally okay with being by yourself? You mentioned feeling awkward eating alone at sit-down restaurants, but there are a lot of other options. If you can get past feeling awkward... go and have a wonderful time! I am a HUGE advocate of the alone trip!

Some things I did: I got a photopass card, and got my picture taken all over the place. I struck dramatic poses and it was really fun, and I got some great souvenirs.

I thought long and hard about bringing a book with me for meals and long lines, but decided instead that I was going to soak up the atmosphere and not bury my nose. For my meals I ate where there were shows to watch, and I also just people-watched.

[Jennatrz]

You just can't dwell on your past. Think of it fondly and as a life lesson. Go to WDW and enjoy yourself. Usually, when I go to WDW I am so immersed with everything it has to offer I don't dwell on times past. I definitely think that going by yourself is a wonderful idea.

[Lisnoe]

If you decide not to go by yourself, then I would take a close friend or family member. On a family trip to WDW several years ago, my brothers spent most of the time hanging out. They were able to go and do whatever they wanted while the rest of us (with small children) would have to call it a night.

BTW: Your past is what makes you an interesting person. Embrace it, but don't dwell on it. Life is too short !

[Gin7274]

You can do what ever you set your mind to do. You have time to plan your trip and get everything in place. Stay active on the boards and make friends here and/or on other boards. You will find many of the members will be taking December trips and will have meet & greets that I'm sure you will be invited to. I am a member of 3 boards.
I'm going into unchartered territory now, but MouseFest is coming up in December and there will be a host of people from all the boards down there. I say "unchartered" because I've never done it, I am new to the boards and am sort of learning my way around. We are going to WDW in 11 days and I have been invited by several people to go to the meet & greets and all this is before MouseFest. I'm sure some of the "veterans" here on the board can tell you more about it.
But my advise to you is take care of yourself. Since your divorce is so fresh, it can play havoc on you. Don't jump into another relationship, find who you are and where you want to go in life and what you're looking for.
Victoria's advise is good advise to. Look at this way, you have already made friends here at MB because you're getting replies. We all care.

[gabes_mommy]

You've got great advice so far!

I agree with Andrea about knowing yourself to decide whether or not you would enjoy a solo trip. Are you more introverted in general? If so a solo trip might be perfect for you, but if you are more extroverted you may feel lonely which could make it worse. If you don't want to go alone take a good friend or a family member who loves you enough to understand if you struggle at all with those memories of your ex while you're there. Someone who cares about you will help you get through that.

I think you should definitely return to WDW though. You've gone through enough - you don't want to lose a favorite vacation destination too. I'm sure your next trip will just be the start of new positive Disney memories that you will cherish into your future.

Keep us posted on what you decide!

[Dana]

I am all for bringing your brother or a good friend. I am not for alone trips either and wouldn't enjoy it. I think you should take someone you know has similiar likes and dislikes as you...someone who you know you can have fun with anywhere.

[llama]

Everybody has given very good advice.

A solo trip does have it's perks - I enjoy a few hours wandering around by myself, but I don't think I'd want to spend a week by myself. I think going with your brother would be a great idea - you can have time together and also spend some time going your separate ways. I think that your concerns are genuine - but I think when you get to WDW and start having fun the memories of the past trips just might fade. This is the time to start fresh, with fresh experiences. Good luck!

[Isaiah2k6]

I cant thank all of you enough for your great advice. You all made me realize that its gonna be ok. Last night I hung out with my brother and I was trying to imagine what it would be like in Disneyworld with him. Hes 5 years younger than me, hes 20. I dont think he's ever been. So unless between now and next December I find an amazing woman that Id like to take with me, Im going to be taking him. Only problem is, he is one of those "non-disney-believers" we speak of in here. HE thinks its a kids place,and has absolutly no Idea how incredible it is, or how much they offer for adults. So, If I can crack his shell on those beliefs, I think he would have a great time. He is just a big goofy goober. Last time we went to the mall he crawled under one of those cars they are always "giving" away as prizes, and when the lady came over to ask what he was doing he replied "ma'am, your catalytic converter is shot, im gonna have to rip that out." The lady was laughing so hard she started crying. So you can see what kinda character he is. IF he would open up to Disney, he would enjoy it.